Change

If you do not understand my words you will never understand my silence. 
If you do not believe the same way as I do, you will never know my inward happiness.
If you do not sit with me, you'll never know how to stand beside me. 

There is so much more to me than there is time to explain
Life is so much more than the next party or laughter.
Sometimes there is a real need for silence and stillness

As I come into this new chapter of my life I reflect upon my own person, my relationships, and my friendships
Things will change as I will change and this is not always bad it is just time
I do not want to have this albatross around my neck any longer. 
No one will truly understand this meaning unless you've really looked within yourself and there is really no other place to look but up. 

God is truly my only saving grace and I so want a greater relationship with Him.
It is not enough to simply put it on paper, it is a daily activity and a change of life
Idols come in all different fashions and what a revelation that I have been worshiping this "idol" far too long. 

I feel almost reborn today and for this I am truly grateful.
Understand it or not, accept it or not, I will go through this metamorphosis and those that recognize the face on the butterfly will love my wings and new being.  For those who do not, I will truly miss you but the inner me needs more than any one person on this earth can offer me. 

Do not judge me for the only ONE that can, will never judge me and that He has promised me.  Judgement Day will come and I will answer for everything I have done, said, and thought.  THIS is what I want to change.  I know that Satan is on the look out for this and at this time I pray for His loving arms around me until I feel like I can fight this battle again.  My soul is tired and needs to find its place again.